Stupid PSG videos of the week: All I want for Christmas is... Zlatan? On a jumper?

Paris Saint-Germain exited the Coupe de la Ligue on penalties on Tuesday night, losing out 5-4 to Saint Etienne after a goalless draw at the Stade Geoffrey Guichard. It was a close match, one which PSG probably should have won, with Zlatan Ibrahimovic missing a couple of chances he would usually put away in his sleep. Ibra also made himself look like a twonk with this overhead kick attempt which didn't quite match up to his effort against England a couple of weeks ago. In fact the words epic and fail come to mind: Poor Zlatan. But he can console himself with the fact that he has been immortalised on a jumper. American artist Lisa Anne Auerbach, who is apparently famous for her jumpers, has knitted Ibra sweater for her exhibition which...

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St Etienne vs PSG: Pastore absent for Coupe de la Ligue showdown

If I could be any Ligue 1 manager, I reckon I'd quite like to be St Etienne's Christophe Galtier. I don't know much about him (he's from Marseille, which is obviously a fairly big downside), but he always strikes me as a pretty cool guy, not least because he looks immaculate on the touchline. Not many people can pull off a puffa jacket in this day and age, but as you can see it looks good on him - sartorially he basically the polar opposite of Elie Baup. Galtier is a decent football manager too, having guided ASSE to third in the Ligue 1 standings, and masterminded a 2-1 win over Paris Saint-Germain at the Parc-des-Princes earlier this month. The two sides meet again tonight at the Stade Geoffrey-Guichard, with a place in the Coupe de la...

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PSG topple Troyes thanks to Zlatan's four-play and a tale of two left-backs

I never fail to be amused by some of the keywords which cause people to land on this blog. Common ones include "Lavezzi body" (you're all perverts), "Kosovare Asllani hot" (see point one) and, bizarrely, "Justin Bieber crying". The Bieber has never featured on PSGT, crying or otherwise, and never will if I have anything to do with it. But my favourite one remains "Zlatan gets boner nose still bigger". Quite what caused someone to enter this into a search engine I have no idea - it's not question I've ever asked myself before - but I hope their curiosity was at least partially satisfied by this pictorial evidence. Whatever the size of his manhood, Ibra's form on the pitch remains pretty sexy. He did his best to contradict those of us...

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Dynamo Kiev 0-2 PSG: El Poccho pockets pair as PSG progress to the Champions League last-16

Crisis? What crisis. Paris Saint-Germain booked their place in the last-16 of the Champions League with a comfortable 2-0 win over Dynamo Kiev, Ezequiel Lavezzi netting both goals. "You would probably describe PSG as dangerous floaters in the draw" noted the commentator on my stream, seemingly without any hint of irony. In fairness, anyone who has seen us at times this season would confirm we're more than capable of serving up some right old shit. Opponents Dynamo Kiev were pretty merde themselves, but at least gave it a better go than when we whooped them 4-1 at the Parc-des-Princes back in September. In fact they probably had the upper hand in a fairly low-key first half: Salvatore Sirigu had to be alert to save twice to deny Oleh...

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Panic on the streets of the Paris as PSG travel to Kiev

Ever hoped that if you ignore something it will go away? For the last couple of years I've been keeping my fingers crossed that Britain's coalition government is a figment plucked from the murky depths of my imagination. Each day I wake up in the hope that the country isn't being run into the ground by a bunch of dithering, right-wing, chinless wonders, and each day I'm left disappointed. Similarly, I've been steadfastly blocking out the events at the Parc-des-Princes on Saturday evening, but having checked Ligue1.com it turns out Paris Saint-Germain actually did lose 2-1 to nine-man Rennes. I've got a few things I want to say because I've read some absolute merde on Twitter and various websites about this game, and PSG's form in general....

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International round-up: England get Zlatan-ised, France get energised

"People will still maintain he isn't world class (...) the goal wasn't that special, I see better goals than that every week". A couple of the quotes I woke up to on radio station talkSPORT this morning, who were discussing Zlatan Ibrahimovic's wonder-strike - his fourth goal of the game - against England. You can watch it below, I'd advise doing so again. And again. And again. It's beautiful and, contrary to Alan Brazil's opinion, I think it's unlikely you'll see any better goals this week. Now, some might say I get what I deserve for listening to talkSPORT (for those not familiar, it's aural equivalent of listening to two half-cut pub bores discussing the Premier League 24 hours a day), but this is indicative of the dismissive attitude shown by the English towards Ibra. Come on Britain,...

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Stupid PSG picture(s) of the week: A mincing Menez and a masked Nene

PSG Tourist has been on sabbatical for the last couple of weeks, so this is the first chance we've had to congratulate Jeremy Menez on the birth of his daughter. You may remember that earlier this year we exclusively (exclusively in the sense that no-one else in England cared) brought you the news that Jezza and his missus, scary-looking reality TV star Emilie Nefnaf, were expecting, and little Maëlla Menez was born last Thursday. Congrats to the family, no doubt we'll see Maëlla skipping down the wing - and falling over - for PSG ladies in a few years time. Caring for a new-born child is a tough time in anyone's life, and perhaps it was a lack of sleep that led to Jezza wearing this strange looking tracksuit as he joined up with the French...

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PSG 2-0 Marseille: PSG's fanni-tastic run continues (with a little help from the ref)

In the past I may have been less than complimentary about the referees in Ligue 1, but I think I've finally found one I like. Antony Gautier, you and your bald head are welcome back at the Parc-des-Princes any time as far as I'm concerned. It was Gautier's controversial decision to dismiss Rod Fanni that set Paris Saint-Germain on the way to a comfortable victory over Marseille in last night's Coupe de la Ligue last-16 clash. It should be be said that prior to Mssr Gautier's intervention, PSG were already well on top in the match. Carlo Ancelotti made seven changes, including first starts of the season for Guillaume Hoarau and Zoumana Camara, and saw his side begin the match with an intensity which has perhaps been lacking in recent matches. Javier...

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