PSG 2-0 Sochaux: Gameiro goals scupper Sochaux

"Perhaps some of the players were already thinking about the next games," remarked Carlo Ancelotti in the aftermath of Paris Saint-Germain's 2-0 win over Sochaux yesterday. It certainly appeared that way every time the camera cut to the bench. Mssrs Nene, Armand, and Sakho were sitting there, ashen-faced, looking like couldn't be more bored. Perhaps they should take a leaf out of Mario Balotelli's book and take their iPads with them next time. Kevin Gameiro spends most of his time on the sidelines these days, but grabbed a rare first team chance with both hands, scoring twice to give PSG another routine victory, their fifth win in a row. Carletto's men weren't particularly impressive in seeing off struggling Sochaux, who fashioned...

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PSG vs Sochaux preview: Carletto to shuffle his pack?

Paris Saint-Germain welcomed their first celebrity training ground visitor of the season this week when legendary former AC Milan boss Arrigo Saachi (above) popped in to oversee a training session. You may remember last season’s guests at the Camp-des-Loges included Paolo Maldini, Brazilian Ronaldo and Brazilian singer Michael Telo, so in terms of glamour a 66-year-old bald Italian represents a significant drop in standards. I’m sure normal service will resume shortly – Justin Bieber is doing a gig in Paris in March so expect him to drop by and give the players a rendition of Boyfriend. Remember, you heard it here first. And probably last. Saachi was Carletto’s boss back when he was the chain-smoking heartbeat of that great AC Milan side...

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Can Zlatan Ibrahimovic match Ligue 1's great goal getters

Rarely has a blog post gone by this season without me mentioning Zlatan Ibrahimovic. The Swedish striker is kind of hard to ignore. His yearly salary may be higher than the GDP of a small African country, but so far he has done about as much as he can to offer value for money for Paris Saint-Germain’s massive outlay. Ibra’s double in Saturday’s 4-0 win over Bastia took his tally for the season to seven goals in five Ligue 1 outings, and he also got up and running in the Champions League with a penalty in the victory over Dynamo Kiev. It’s a tally which has seen him take an early lead in the race for the Ligue 1 golden boot – his nearest challenger at present is Toulouse striker Wissam Ben-Yedder with four – and begs the question how...

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Stupid PSG picture of the week: Lavezzi gets some life lessons

The STUPID PHOTO KLAXON always goes off in my brain when I see headlines like "The Parisiens strike a pose" on the official Paris Saint-Germain website.The article doesn't disappoint, showing the players getting ready for the taking of the official team photograph. Quite why this is being done six weeks into the season is unclear, but it did give Carlo Ancelotti the chance to show Ezequiel Lavezzi how to tie a tie. Bless, I wonder if Carletto helps them tie their laces too. The women's squad were also present, giving Ibra and Leonardo the chance to perv over chat to our hot new Swedish striker Kosovare Asllani. Here they are showing a strong professional interest: Pics: http://www.psg.fr/en/News/003001/Article/5...

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Bastia 0-4 PSG: Four-midable PSG march on

"Match after match, it's getting better and better," noted Zlatan Ibrahimovic after Paris Saint-Germain's 4-0 victory over Bastia yesterday. Amen Zlatan. Certainly this has been a productive week for PSG, who hit four goals for the second match in succession to comfortably dispatch a spirited but limited Bastia outfit. Performance-wise it was more solid than spectacular - Sergio Busquets compared to Tuesday night's Leo Messi - but the way we ruthlessly ran in four goals was, say it quietly, the stuff of potential Champions. Ancelotti chose to rotate his defenders, with Thiago Silva the only member of the back four to survive from the Champions League victory over Kiev. In came fit-again Mamadou Sakho, debutant Gregory van der Wiel, and Sylvain Armand for his first start of the season....

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Bastia vs PSG: Parisiens need to tread carefully in Corsica

It’s been brought to my attention that Paris Saint-Germain unveiled a new signing this week. Yes, according to ligue1.com the club have splashed the cash again and purchased... an anti-gravity treadmill. This may sound like something out of Star Trek, but apparently it’s a NASA-developed technology that reduces bodyweight to just 20 per cent of its total, allowing injured players to begin training earlier. “We considered spending the cash on magic beans, or buying Ibra a gold-plated back-scratcher, but decided instead to invest in something which might come in handy one day – after all, you can never have enough anti-gravity treadmills,” a club spokesman might have said. Hopefully they won’t allow Momo Sissoko to use it, we wouldn’t...

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Stupid PSG picture of the week: Zlatan enjoys his goal (a bit too much)

We all know that Zlatan Ibrahimovic has a fairly high opinion of himself. But up until now I wasn't aware quite how excited the Swedish striker gets when he scores a goal. As this picture, captured after he'd opened the scoring in Tuesday night's 4-1 Champions League win over Dynamo Kiev, shows, he's very pleased with himself. I suppose you could look at it as a good way of putting off the opposition keeper, I certainly feel put off my breakfast. Pic via the (quite wonderful) Football Ramble - http://www.thefootballramble.com/latest/entry/i-am-zlatans-penis ...

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Paris Saint-Germain 4-1 Dynamo Kiev: PSG back with a bang

Hello, we're back. Did you miss us? So says the editorial in today's Parisien after Paris Saint-Germain announced their return to the Champions League in stunning style with a 4-1 thrashing of Dynamo Kiev at the Parc-des-Princes last night. I've been humming Lou Reed's Perfect Day ever since I woke up this morning, because in terms of performance last night's match was pretty perfect, certainly the best we've played since Carlo Ancelotti took over. As supporters we're allowed to get a bit carried away, but at least the players are keeping their feet on the ground: "This is not a signal [to the rest of Europe]," said Salvatore Sirigu, who was so untroubled that he could've played the second half with a cigar on. "It is only a...

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PSG in the Champions League: How far can we go?

It often seems that Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s sense of reason has, like Kate Middleton’s bikini top, gone badly astray. But the big Swede, who has made a habit of bigging himself up throughout his long and glittering career, was in surprisingly reflective mood ahead of tonight’s Champions League clash between Paris Saint-Germain and Dynamo Kiev. "Don't get me wrong, I want to win the Champions League. But let's take things match by match, step by step. When Manchester City were knocked out in the group stage last season, it didn't necessarily mean they were a bad team, just that they lacked experience in the competition," said Ibra. "In my opinion, you mustn't just focus on the Champions League. The most important thing, absolutely vital in fact, is to win the league. When you've established...

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PSG in the Champions League: An idiot's guide to Dynamo Kiev

This week sees the start of Paris Saint-Germain’s first foray into the Champions League for eight years. So excited are the club about tomorrow night’s clash with Dynamo Kiev that they started playing the Champions League music at half-time during Friday night’s win over Toulouse. I like to think it’s been playing on repeat ever since to get the office staff in the mood. PSG are in Group A, along with Dinamo Zagreb, Porto, and tomorrow night’s opponents Kiev. And though there <cliché>are no easy games in the Champions League</cliché> the general feeling seems to be that the draw has been kind to us. So, other than the fact that they’re unlikely to chicken out of any challenges (sorry), what do we know about Kiev? Read on: A brief history: Formed in 1927, the initially...

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PSG 2-0 Toulouse: Parisiens manage Tou (not) louse

Sorry about the slightly nonsensical headline, but I had to shoe-horn in at least one terrible pun at TFC's expense. Look out for more of the same when we play the return match in February. Paris Saint-Germain extended their unbeaten start to the season to five games with a comfortable victory over the aforementioned Toulouse at the Parc-des-Princes this evening. While the performance didn't quite hit the heights of the Lille game, it was certainly an assured display from PSG, who look to be growing as a team and will now go into Tuesday's Champions League match against Dynamo Kiev in confident mood. Carletto surprised no-one by naming an unchanged line-up, and again it was the impish, fearless, figure of Verratti who shone brightest...

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Questions to be answered as PSG host Toulouse

Ligue 1 is back with a bang tonight, as Paris Saint-Germain host Toulouse. Alain Casanova’s side have made an unbeaten start to the season, with two wins and two draws from their first four matches, and will not be keen to relinquish that record at the Parc-des-Princes. All appears rosy in the PSG garden at present, with the 2-1 win at Lille last time out having put a much more positive spin on our own unbeaten start. But while the result and performance against LOSC were without doubt impressive, it was a match that left me with more questions than answers: A one-legend team? As we mentioned yesterday, Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been inducted into Malmo’s sporting walk of fame. If he continues his current scoring ratio he’ll soon be in the French equivalent too, having bagged four...

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International news: Jallet scores and Ibra becomes a legend (in Malmo)

The international break is over, hurrah and indeed hooray. I’m sure some people enjoy it, but I for one struggle to get excited about international football when a World Cup or European Championships is such a distant prospect. Still, at least it gave England the chance to try out a new midfield combination of, er, Stephen Gerrard and Frank Lampard. I’m sure two such young, dynamic, level-headed players will be able to form a formidable partnership. Like England, France are looking to rebuild ahead of the 2014 World Cup, and new boss Didier Deschamps was able to celewbrate two wins to get qualifying under way. First Les Bleus dispatched Finland 1-0 on Friday, before claiming a 3-1 win over Belarus on Tuesday night. The French back-line for both matches had a distinctly Parisien...

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Stupid PSG picture of the week: Carlo welcomes new signing Van der Wiel (in a cupboard)

When it comes to announcing new signings, football clubs usually have a limited range of photographs: player holds shirt/scarf, player signs pretend contract, player shakes hands with manager, player sits in stadium and stares wistfully at pitch. They're all staples of the modern game. For some reason PSG eschewed tradition after completing the signing of right-back Gregory van der Wiel yesterday, instead choosing to publish a shot of the former Ajax man being ushered into what looks like a store-room by Carlo Ancelotti. I'm not sure whether my favourite bit about the picture is the moribund background, or the fact that Carlo, Greg, and the chap on the left all appear to be looking at something hilarious just off camera; perhaps...

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LOSC Lille 1-2 Paris Saint-Germain: Ibra-cadabra lights up the Grand Stade

Jimmy Alegrino and Zlatan Ibrahimovic; one, a journeyman (my opinion) French defender of the 1990s, the other one of the greatest strikers to ever walk the earth (his opinion). This unlikely duo are the last two Paris Saint-Germain players to score winners in Lille, and Zlatan's double at the Grand Stade Metropole last night ensured PSG could celebrate a first victory at LOSC since Alegrino's strike gave them a 1-0 triumph way back in April 1997. Hoodoo-tastic. What made the win, PSG's first in four matches this season, even better was that it was richly deserved. The team put in the kind of controlled performance that we should expect from such an expensively assembled group of players, and they've now set themselves a standard which they must repeat when Ligue 1 resumes after...

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PSG spin the Wiel of fortune and land Ajax full-back

Though not the sort of deal that would make a big impression on the Sky Sports News Transfer Totaliser, it seems Paris Saint-Germain did a decent bit of business yesterday by agreeing a deal for Ajax right-back Gregory van der Wiel. Most reliable sources are reporting that PSG will pay €5-6million for the the 24-year-old (left), who arrived in Paris last night and will have a medical today before signing a four-year-contract. Clubs in France can continue buying players until September 4, so the doctors can take their time making sure the Dutch international can touch his toes, click his knuckles, and recite the alphabet backwards. Van der Wiel has made over 100 appearances for Ajax since making his debut in 2007, and has long been linked...

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