Tuesday, 23 August 2011

PSG's predictable start

Lots of things about French life perplex me: the strict adhesion to priorite a droite on the roads, the lack of public toilets, the continuing popularity of Michel Polnareff (above).

Another is Monsieur et Madame jokes. If you’re unaware of these, think of them the French equivalent of Knock Knock ... The format is as follows:

Q: Monsieur et Madame Bonneau ont un fils. Comment s’appelle t-il?
(Mr and Mrs Bonneau have a son, what’s his name?)
A: Jean

Geddit, Jean Bonneau said quickly sounds like jambonneau, or a leg of ham. There are millions of them out there, but I’ve come up with my own which I think is a cracker:

Q: Monsieur et Madame havehadadistinctlyaverageanddepressinglypredictablestarttotheseason ont un fils. Comment s’appelle t-il?

The answer of course is “PSG”, who in my absence have registered one win, one draw, and one defeat from their opening three league matches, finding time to stuff some bunch of jokers from Luxembourg 4-0 in the Europa League in between.

Sunday’s unconvincing yet vital 2-1 win over Valenciennes, courtesy of goals from Kevin Gameiro and Nene (pen), will have hopefully have lifted a bit of pressure from the shoulders of Antoine Kombouare. Thursday’s return leg against Diffedange (aforementioned jokers from Luxembourg) should be a formality, Sunday’s trip to unbeaten Toulouse less so.

The coach is, again unsurprisingly, finding it difficult to mould his hastily assembled squad into a coherent unit. And while the individual skill of the likes of Gameiro and Jeremy Menez will always offer a threat going forward, especially with Pastore now in contention, a lack of a team-work at the back cannot be glossed over.

In the absence of the injured Sakho and Armand, Leonardo has been mumbling non-committal stuff about buying a defender, with Werder Bremen’s Per Metersacker and Porto’s Rolando mentioned in dispatches.

Sadly the arrival of another striker seems more likely, with Marco Boriello and Diegos Forlan and Milito being touted as replacements for Mevlut Erding, who seems to have finally accepted that his days in the capital are numbered and could be on his way to Rennes this week. Then there is Kaka, a potential signing about which I could be more underwhelmed if someone called whelmed was sitting on my head. Eight more days of transfer window left, please just make it stop.


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